“DO NOT DATE A GIRL WHO’S INTO HARRY POTTER IF YOU’RE A GUY WHO’S INTO TWILIGHT” by Mikel Francisco Rama
Date a girl who isn’t into Harry Potter (HP) — trust me, your life would be easier. Find a normal girl who’s into GLEE or Vampire Diaries or whatever.
These Harry Potter fangirls, they can be quite a handful.
When you’re dating an HP fangirl, never expect her to make you her number one man. She may like you but rest assured that her heart only belongs to Harry. But don’t feel bad about it because Harry’s into Ginny Weasley (frankly, I don’t see the appeal) and this will break your girl’s heart. And you’ll be there to soak up the excess of her unrequited love.
Sometimes an HP fangirl may become depressed all of a sudden. She will break down and weep for an inordiante amount of time. When this happens, do not panic. She just probably read Deathly Hallows again. She’ll be fine when it gets to the Epilogue.
When you’re dating an HP fangirl. You have to spend time memorizing all the imporant magic spells.
When she says “Lumos”, that means you have to turn on the light.
When she says “Accio remote,” that means you have to get the remote control and give it to her.
When she says “Reparo your face,” that means there’s something wrong with your face.
When she says “Avada Kedavra,” that means you’re pretty much in trouble.
Dating a Harry Potter fangirl can be especially difficult when the release of the next Harry Potter film is drawing near. This period can be full of tension as she will be emotionally unstable during the time. She will be nervous and fusssy about how and when she can get the sure seats reserved to see the film on IMAX.
And you’ll have to pray that Warner Brothers doesn’t push back the release date like what they did with Half-Blood Prince. Otherwise, you’ll have to boycott every Warner Brothers film that comes out (That means no Batman for you. :(( )
She’ll watch the latest trailer on her iPhone every 30 minutes and you’ll have to be there by her side to make sure she doesn’t convulse out of excitement.
When dating a Harry Potter fangirl, expect her to roll her eyes at you saying “Muggle” under her breath every time you don’t understand a Harry Potter reference. When this happens, don’t be sad. It’s not your fault that you’re a filthy muggle.
You should always remember that Cedric Diggory is not alive, nor does he, by any circumstance, sparkle.
WHen dating a Harry Potter fangirl, have some sick leave credits ready because you’ll never know if you’re going to have to go on a quest for Horcruxes.
Having said all this, dating a girl who’s into Harry Potter isn’t all that bad. They are passionate and it can be magical dating a Harry Potter fangirl. They also like to play with wands.
But trust me, when I say never ever under any and all circumstances date a girl who’s into Harry Potter if you’re a guy who’s into Twilight.
In that case, you should date a dude… dude.